From Infant Carrier to Kindergarten --- Let a New Phase and Stage of Motherhood Begin

As a little girl, I loved playing house.  I loved being a mother to all my baby dolls.  All 13 of them.  I would feed them, rock them to sleep, dress them.  I can even still tell you their names.  Motherhood was always a lifelong dream and desire.   In July 2010, Brandon and I welcomed Katelyn Louise in the world and I began the journey of being a stay at home mom.  I learned very quickly what it was like to have someone so dependent on us.  While I was pregnant, it was hard to fathom a baby solely relying on me for food.  I had taken all the breastfeeding classes and read a book or two, but actually feeding a baby every couple of hours was a steep learning process.  Lots of tears, a lot of lost sleep, but eventually mom and baby got in synch.

Then learning how to strap a baby into an infant carrier car seat....let me rephrase that.... a screaming baby into a car seat was another process learned very quickly.  And then there was the day when she was probably two weeks old and I decided it was time for me to go somewhere with my newborn Katelyn.

 I had always been with Brandon or a family member when I had ventured out so this would be the first time for me to put her in the carseat alone and drive somewhere.  I remember trying to time it just right so that she would be asleep (and well fed) for our first journey alone.  I put her in the carseat.  I started the car.  She was still thankfully asleep.  I started driving to the other side of town.  I wasn't sure where I was going.  I was just excited to be in the car.  I drove about 10 minutes and found my way into the Home Depo parking lot.  I parked on the edge of the lot.  Then I just sat there.  I had taken my daughter by myself on our first outing.  Reality was sinking in-- I was really a mother and I really had a newborn in my backseat.  And I had managed to figure out the carseat, drive across town and make it to Home Depo.  What an accomplishment! I breathed a sigh of relief in this new freedom.  I was on the start of a new phase and a new stage of becoming a stay at home mom.

In a couple of days, Katelyn will be starting kindergarten.  We are on to a new stage and a new phase.  I wish I wasn't so emotional about it.  Every August, I always enjoyed looking at facebook photos and seeing pictures of everyone else's kids starting kindergarten and I was always thankful it wasn't mine yet.  But, here we are it is our turn and so I am sure you will see her smiling face posted on facebook in a few days.  I know I will be sad because spending five years at home with my little girl went by so fast.  She has so much energy and she sure doesn't like to sleep or take naps, but I will miss having her home with us all day.  Yes, I will get her on holidays and vacations, but the first five uninterrupted years without a school calendar to follow are over.

So now, in a few days, instead of strapping her into her infant carrier car seat, I will help her buckle her seatbelt.  I will start the car and drive her 10 minutes to the parking lot at her new school.  I will park on the edge of the lot.  Then I will sit there for a moment.  Reality will sink in that I really have a kindergartener in my backseat.   Katelyn loves to learn and she loves being social and I know she will have an awesome time in kindergarten.  I will breath a sigh of sadness, excitement, and anticipation.  I am on the start of a new phase and a new stage of becoming a mother of a school age child.